Hearts and Sleeves
by pen of the dark
Summary: Lily and James, sixth and seventh year. HB spoilers.
1. Never again

Disclaimer: The charecters and main plot theory is not mine, it's JK Rowlings, I do not claim anything but the actual writing to be my own.

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"Prongs?"

"Yeh?" James asked, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

"Is Monday alright?"

"No, we've got quiddich"

"What 'bout Tuesday?"

"No, Moony's got prefect duties 'till late, and he'll want to study after"

"Wednesday?"

"Nope, Peters got tutoring, Moony and Amos are going to Dumbledore's for some reason, and we have detention with Filtch."

"Ugh, why is it always Filtch? Why can't they put us with slughorn?"

"Because that's not a punishment, Slughorn doesn't make us do anything, especially not after we found out that he's addicted to those pineapples."

"Well what days are we free?"

"Not until the weekend"

"I don't want to wait that long. What about after practice on Monday?"

"We've got a visit arranged"

"Oh, right. Shit. I didn't realize Hogsmead was comin' up so soon."

James turned from his studies to find his friend frowning at him. He saw the look in Sirius' eye that meant he really wanted to do this. James absent mindedly ran his hand through his hair, a nervous habit he'd picked up last year, which had now become just a habit in general.

"Naw, Padfoot, we're not canceling, Monday's the only day that our schedules all coincide. Moony's really been looking forward to this, he says prefect duties are beginning to rattle 'im. Not to mention that, it's Peter's birthday."

"Yeah, I guess." Siruis said

"Look, the forbidden forest will still be there next week. I promise that we'll get the ingredients then."

"Yeah, alright. Hey, you wanna toss that potions book over here?"

James picked it up and lobbed it over to Sirius' bed and turned back to his transfiguration essay.

Lily sat in the common room with Alice and Olivia. They all had long since finished their homework and decided to spend this brisk fall Sunday evening curled up next to the fire.

"How's Amos?" Lily asked Alice

"Oh, you know, he's alright. I don't think anyone studies as much as he does. Which means I don't get to see him much."

"I can imagine, isn't he first in our class?"

"Mmhhmm. Followed closely by Remus and Elizabeth."

"Ugh, I hate her. She's so pretentious." Lily said

"Yeah, she does get really annoying." Olivia said.

"Amos says she's an absolute bitch."

"Yeah, did you hear what she said to me?"

"No, what?"

"She, and I quote, said I was "Unintelligent and bitter because" I'm "not as fortunate" as her"

"What?" Alice said in appalled outrage

"She's just upset because you have friends." Marcy said looking up from the girls' grade slips "And because you're happier than she is, even thought you don't have as good a class rank as her."

"That's ridiculous, I'm only two places behind her, is there that much of a difference?"

"Actually, you're three" Marcy said

"What?" Lily yelped

"Well, like you said, not much of a difference." Marcy said hastily, reluctantly handing her friend the paper and throwing a glance at Alice and Olivia.

Lily looked over the paper and frowned. "I dunno how I could have dropped. My marks are even better now." She reread the paper and looked at her friends "I guess that the way it goes sometimes, huh? Ah well." She said in a voice that clearly showed she was not alright with dropping so much.

Lily was just about to go back to staring into the fire until a figure caught her eye. It was none other than James Potter. She watched with an indifferent face as he walked by. On his way out of the common room, a girl walked up to him and started flirting with him and making boisterous conversation. He talked animatedly for a little while and made his exit.

The girl walked past, making a funny face at Lily as a sign of friendship, Lily mimicked the gesture. It was their way of trying to make good on an obvious rift between them. The girls' name was Sarah; she and Lily had always been close competitors. Sarah had beaten Lily off the quiddich team fourth year. Lily could ignore this because Quiddich was at its height, people practiced since they were barely able to walk and the competition was rough. But Lily was bitter to hear that Sarah had also taken a class rank higher than her at the end of last year.

Sometimes Lily wondered if Sarah even felt as if there were friction between the two of them, she seemed always to come out on top. Lily ignored it and continued to be Sarah's friend, even if she was self centered sometimes. As Sarah left Lily realized that the common room was almost empty. Most people had yet to finish the homework that was due tomorrow, so the girls were left to their conversations in relative privacy.

"So, what do you think of James?" Alice asked casually

"I don't." Lily said coolly

"Right," Marcy said "Even after what he did last year?"

Marcy was referring to the unfortunate occurrence after O.W.L. tests last year where James took it upon himself to torture one of Lily's then good friends. If that hadn't been bad enough, he had asked her out, as if expecting his act of cruelty to make him more attractive. She had never remembered being so mad, except maybe what her 'friend' said to her for trying to defend him.

"Yeh. I guess I don't mind, you know? I'm hoping he's grown up. I just don't have time to think about it anymore."

"That's good, Lil'" Alice said, raising her eyebrows at Marcy while Lily looked down at her book.

Potions that Monday was a drag. Lily wished desperately that it weren't so boring, but Slughorn had taken "ill" again, most likely to go and attend a benefit or party one of his past students had invited him to. The class was taught by Demius Parkinson, a rather boring middle aged man whose son had already graduated. Professor Parkinson, standing in for one day, decided a group activity was exactly what everyone needed. Worksheets were passed out, and everyone was instructed to pick up packets of unknown potion ingredients, identify them and answer the questions. It was probably the first time in Lily's Hogwarts career that worksheets were used so she knew it would be tedious, boring and just the kind of work where conversation would be appreciated. Unfortunately today was assigned seating, and she was nowhere near Alice, Olivia or any of her other friends. Instead she sat at a table with Remus Lupin and James Potter.

"Here, I got you blue, because I know it brings out your inner beast." James said, throwing a blue bag at Remus

"I'm glad, I didn't specifically ask for red or anything." Remus said dryly

"Yeah, but this brings out your inner beast." James said, grinning

"Go to hell" Remus said, lips curved upward

Lily had no idea what they were talking about. She wondered vaguely if it was about Remus being a werewolf but couldn't find a definite connection, so figured it was an inside joke or something and couldn't help but grin a bit.

Conversation between them continued, most of which Lily tuned out. Except when having conversations about quiddich, or coded conversations Lily couldn't understand, they held up a stream of banter that demonstrated a comfort they had with each other. The two together seemed to foil each other perfectly. Remus was quiet, sensible and had hard working. James was outgoing, laid back and exaggerated everything. Their constant insults proved their obvious intelligence. It was refreshing to hear people she didn't know have a perfectly intelligent conversation that didn't have anything to do with who was dating whom.

James left the table to go and talk to Sirius for a second, which he did at least once a class period when there was assigned seating because Professor Slughorn knew better than to seat the two together. Lily decided to talk to Remus; she was tired of sitting there, only speaking to ask for the answer sheet provided.

"You two have an odd relationship" She commented as James was out of earshot.

"Yeah?" Remus said looking up

"Yeah," she said, looking back

"Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" He asked grinning now

"… I haven't decided yet." She said, grinning as she slid her finger down the chart trying to find her answer.

"Oh." He was still grinning. She liked Remus.

James sat back down and began another conversation that didn't include Lily. It wasn't in a bad way, that he excluded her, or intentional. Honestly she didn't think that thought crossed his mind. He was different this year, there was less tension between them, and they were okay just coinciding. If it had been last year there would have been definite problems. Lily had always hated James' ego, which was at its height last year. She had liked him when she met him in first year, but had basically forgotten him until fourth year. In fourth year she developed a sort of crush on him, despite his ego and Severus's protests. The two of them had been quasi friends that year, but conversation had not come easy, and it made their friendship awkward. Fifth year had by far been James's worst year. He was awful, and had taken to torturing Lily and a select few of other students, strutting around, and lightly teasing her. He'd also managed to ask her out four times, all in front of the entire school. This year, however, James seemed to have dropped his ego, or most of it. It was hard to describe the terms they were on this year, but it was different.

Class ended more quickly than Lily expected, but she had yet to finish her last problem, and knowing full well that she wouldn't want to do it later, stayed a little after to finish. As soon as her last letter was on the page, lily hastened to shove the paper in her bag and swing it over her shoulder. It was lunch now, and she was really hungry, and excited to talk to her friends about the article she read this morning in the Prophet.

"Hey, Lily." Remus said, falling in step with her.

"Hey, how're you?" She said smiling

"Oh, I'm fine, I suppose. Yourself?"

"The same, actually." She said smiling and knowing the weary look.

"It's weird that we haven't really talked at all this year."

"I know, but we don't ever seem to be paired together for prefect du.. ugh"

Just then Lily had run into someone, and looked up to find Severus Snape staring back at her. She hadn't seen him in over three months and hadn't talked to him for longer. She saw him blush slightly and look halfway in between apologizing and yelling. She went strangely stiff, murmured an apology and walked away. He had been her best friend for her entire wizarding career but had a large falling out with him last year.

As she walked past him she heard him say, almost inaudibly

"Stooping low enough to talk to _him_, _Potters_ friend, and a _werewolf_; in good company I see." His voice was dripping with sarcasm and hatred.

Lily frowned, having seen that Remus stood awkwardly straight as if straining to hear more and also as if trying to ignore it. She was all of a sudden angry. She didn't care that he was a werewolf just like he didn't care that she was a 'mudblood'. Severus had no right to be mad at her or say cruel things to her because that's why they had stopped talking in the first place. As Soon as he had finished talking she turned on her heel and said loudly in the coldest voice she could muster.

"Yes, I am in good company, you see he doesn't care who I was born to. Not to mention that, he's one of the cleverest _wizards_ I've ever known." With that she turned around and caught up with Remus who was looking shocked, horrified, uncertain and grateful all at the same time.

"Look, I don't care, and I'm not going to ask, because it's your business, not mine. But I think the way society treats werewolves is awful. And they don't deserve the discrimination any more or less than muggle-borns do. It's not my fault I was born to muggles, I can't change it. Screw them." And feeling she had said far too much, Lily moved more briskly to sit with her friends.

She later felt stupid for the outbreak, because if Remus wasn't a werewolf it would have sounded really stupid. She believed that he was a werewolf but didn't know for sure and so couldn't look back on her actions with much conviction. She truly felt that Severus had met the moonlit Remus the night James had saved his life in the Willow. It would explain his theory of Remus's condition sprouting up just after the incident. It would also explain the fear he had shown when recounting the story, though he had tried his best to disguise it among rage. She had first gathered her own theory of Remus's lycanthrope in the middle of second year, but refused to share her theory with anyone in case it was wrong, or for that matter in case it was right.

"Still not talking to him then?" Olivia asked as Lily sat down

"Hmm?" Lily commented as she was pulled from her thoughts

"Severus, you're not talking to him."

"No," Lily said grimly "No I think that mistake has passed. I don't believe we will ever again talk on friendly terms."

"Honestly, I don't understand how you could have befriended him in the first place." Marcy put in, while finishing her sandwich

"It's a long story." Lily said, really not wanting to talk about it.

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Well, that's the first chapter, I've written up to the third, so the faster you review, the faster the next ones will go up. 


	2. Interworkings of the marauders

James found himself running as fast as he could down a decaying tunnel to Hogsmead. Sirius was right behind him and as far as he could tell they were late for their meeting with Remus and Peter, but he hadn't brought the watch his parents had given him and therefore couldn't be sure. They had sprinted back from quiddich practice to the dormitories to take showers and change, but had still been late getting out because Lily Evans was standing in front of the portrait hole talking to Alice, and the boys couldn't push past while wearing the cloak. It was ten by the time they got to The Three Broomsticks, and Peter and Remus were already sitting at the bar talking the Rosmerta.

"I dunno if we should keep using that passageway Paddy" James said in a low voice while the boys walked up to the door

"I know. It does seem to be crumbling in places doesn't it? It should be fine though, never failed us before." Sirius said as they wended their way between tables to get to the bar

"We have so many others though. Why don't we just use the witch from now on?"

"Dunno, we'll talk about it later. Rosy, how are you tonight?" Sirius said in a deep voice he saved for flirting

"I would be fine, Mr. Black, if you didn't keep an enormous tab that never seems to pay itself off." Rosmerta said laughingly

"Don't worry about the thing, love, I'm going to pay it off next Hogsmead trip, I swear it." Sirius said grinning and putting two fingers up in a boy scout pledge.

"Out! Get out of my pub, I mean it Black! I refuse to let you go more in debt; lord knows I don't want to have to tell your parents." Sirius barked with laughter

"That's probably the only thing they're good for. You're not the only one who doesn't want to upset them." He said grinning and then growing serious "But you do know I'm on my own now, right?"

"So young? Why didn't you tell me before, if I'd have known there was no money backing you I would have never let you start a tab in the first place!"

"Calm down Rosy, I've got it tonight and I'll take his tab too, I lost a bet to him the other night. I'd rather the money go to you that straight into his reckless little hands" James said smiling

"Oh, James, you're a doll. What can I get you? I'll give a free round tonight if you do settle his debt. And another for your birthday Peter, dear" Rosmerta said, giving an affectionate look to James and then Peter.

"Oi, my hands are not little, their very big, thanks!" Sirius said indignantly

"Oh, Paddy, that's the least of your worries in the department of small body parts." James said cheekily

"Ouch, James, and you, my friend?" Sirius said laughing

As the night went on the boys became far more boisterous, and Rosmerta was glad for their company, even though she knew full well they weren't supposed to be out of school.

"I might have to tell Dumbledore about your visits, I'm not sure it's safe in such dark times for you to be wandering about at night." Rosmerta said smacking Sirius on the arm with the towel she was using to wipe the bar down as he reached over the bar for the bottle.

"Where's the fun in that? You love our company, and so long as we're entertaining, no one has to know about our little excursions." Remus said flirtatiously

"I've never heard such a boast, and from you, Remus?" Rosmerta giggled.

"You know I've always been soft on you Rosy." Remus said laughing

"Only when you've been here an hour or so Moony" James said laughing and turning his empty cup of fire whiskey upside-down

"You boys are too much for me to handle, why do I put up with this?" Rosmerta said, filling James' glass again "How's your birthday, Peter? It's quiet for the big 17, huh?"

"Din' wan' 'nything big, jus' the boys, an' you 'course Rosm'." Peter said smiling and slurring slightly

"I would expect it from you an' Remus. But I know James and Sirius are planning something else."

"I'd be lying if I said anything else" Sirius grinned coyly.

"Go on then, let's hear it"

"No, I'm afraid not, what you would hear might shock or scar you. No, I'm afraid I'll have to keep that secret to myself, far to wild for someone like you, darling."

"Oh! Insulting me in my own pub are you? Not to mention that, Sirius, you seem to be forgetting that not only am I older than you, but I am always around intoxicated men much more _wild_ than yourself." she said giving Sirius a look and topping off everyone else's glasses, none of which had been finished and leaving Sirius' empty one the counter.

Sirius looked shocked and horrified. "I am so sorry, madam, if I offended you in anyway. I promise I will have my party here and all my guests will pay you loads of money." Rosmerta giggled and filled his glass

"And for the record, Sirius, no party of yours is ever welcome here. Your guests could never pay for the damage they, and you, are sure to cause."

"You have the most trusting friendships, Sirius." James laughed

"That goes for you too, James." Rosmerta said sternly while smiling slightly

"You seem to mirror Sirius' talents James, my boy." Remus said

"Remus, you are always welcome" Rosmerta said smiling at him

"Youe predjudice against James and I astounds me!" Sirius said unhappily

"Ahh… well maybe it's better for all of us Sir. She is right about the damage issue, I'm not sure The Three Broomsticks would ever be the same." James said "Anyway, Rosy, I think we should take our leave. Looks like Petey isn't feeling too well. He's shorter you know, goes to his system faster."

With that, James paid off their large check and Sirius' tab and the boys left, James and Sirius supporting Peter under the arms and Remus walking beside. They walked in relative silence for a long time. Sirius and James were trying not to let Peter fall and Remus was thinking about a much different adventure that would take place on Friday.

"You look dark again Moony. Thinking 'bout your furry little problem?"

"It never leaves my mind, unfortunately."

"I'm sorry we couldn't make it more in the summer, but neither Sirius nor I can handle your transformed self alone."

"I wouldn't have expected you to come, I appreciate that you lot come along during the school year, I just wish it weren't so dangerous."

"We're not going over this again, Moony, we don't care, you're more important, I swear it." Sirius said gruffly

"Well said, Padfoot." James said

"Speaking of," Remus changed subject "you have to stop slipping our nicknames in public, Prongs."

"I know, I'm sorry, Rosy doesn't care though she's got other stuff to deal with. I won't do it again though."

"Yeah, well, that goes for Peter as well, he's the worst of all of us. If the school finds out, we're screwed, because we sign all our pranks with them."

Silence elapsed again and continued until they got to the portrait covering the tunnel. Remus, Sirius and James all cast themselves invisible, and wrapped the cloak around Peter who had fallen asleep by now, continuing up to the dormitories in the same fashion.

"I don't think I've ever seen him so quiet drunk before." James said as they put him to bed

"Hahah, yeah, do you remember last house party after we won the quiddich cup last year? I thought he was going to get up and table dance!" Sirius said

"He did," Remus laughed "You were too absorbed in Tara to see"

"Oh, yeah, I remember that! How horrible was he?"

"Surprisingly enough, he wasn't bad!" James laughed

Later that night, or by that time, early next morning, James found himself in the common room, standing at the hearth and staring blandly into the fire. He was thinking about his object of affection. It was strange but he had almost forgotten about her this year, he'd been so busy. He still blushed at his actions last year, what a fool he had been. Desperate times, he supposed, desperate measures. But even that didn't cover how stupid he had been, no wonder she hated him, why had he not seen his faults earlier? He knew she was worth all the pain, but honestly, would she ever see through the façade that appeared every time she came near? Damn this whole situation. Why did he even like her in the first place? Gone were the days when he liked a witch just for what she looked like.

"That witch of yours is the most kind person I think I've ever met."

"Of mine? I wish." James said bitterly "And I know she's kind. It makes me sick sometimes to look at myself in comparison."

"Actually, I think you two are very similar in that way." Remus said, standing at the window and looking up at the moon. James looked over at his friend curiously, and said nothing, waiting for Remus to go on.

"She knows, and she doesn't care."

"What? How did she find out? If it was Snivelly, trying to win her back, I'm going to make him wish he'd never lived."

"I'm not sure. He did say it in passing to her and she and I were talking. Said she'd sunk so low to be talking to me, your friend and a…well, she turned on him quick as anything and said that she liked me because I didn't care that she was mugge-born, and said I was a good _wizard_, not even though I am a creature, or anything, just wizard. She says she thinks it's awful the way they treat werewolves. But the thing is, she didn't even say she knew, she told me as if it were still a question whether I was or not. I don't think Severus ever told her."

"He better not have, where does he get off insulting you? Berk." James said angrily and them softer "She defended you? That's brilliant mate. Look I've been telling you all along. Anyone who cares about your condition is not worth the time."

Jame's eyes burned in a way that told Remus he wasn't thinking just about Remus and his troubles. Remus knew James had come to the fire to think about Lily because for once in his life, he wasn't spending his energy trying to get her in his corner. In fact, James seemed to have stop bothering with Lily at all, it had been three weeks since start of term and they had barely spoken a word to eachother. At least Lily hadn't yelled at James once yet.. he had to be happy about that.

"Lily is worth your time, James, even if she doesn't appear to care about you right now."

"I know…"

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Well, chapter two is up, waht more can I say? Review? 


	3. Late Night Lovers

Lily was staring out at the grounds through her dormitory window trying to think of how to organize the essay due on Wednesday. She felt like her parchment had an impervious charm on it, all her thoughts just slipped right off. Everything she tried to write was horrible, and though she didn't like to leave her assignments unfinished, she felt like continuing from here would be a waste. Looking at her watch she realized it was now two in the morning. She had gone to sleep at eleven and woken up an hour previously to find that falling once again into her dream world was impossible.

A whim struck her just the second she put her quill down. How long had it been since she broke the rules? Two years? She had been so stressed not to break any rules because she so often had to tell Potter and his boys off. They seemed to be okay now, though, they were being good. Who was to say that Lily couldn't have some fun too?

With that, Lily got dressed, she figured if she was going to venture into the school she couldn't rule out the possibility of also going about the grounds. She raced down the stairs to the common room as silently as she could, crossed the room by skirting the shadows, and hid in the shadow right by the portrait hole, glancing around to make sure no one was there. Unfortunately there was someone there. James Potter was standing there, fully clothed, as if he had just come back from his own secret mission. She didn't doubt for a second that if he saw her he would pounce on the chance to wonder aloud why she, the prefect, was fully dressed and lurking in the shadow of the portrait hole.

She now realized that this might have been a bad idea, and she probably should have checked the common room before crossing it. She shrunk deeper into the shadow and tried to think of what to do. There was a possibility that he would hear her leaving if she went now, as the fat lady didn't like being woken from either side of the portrait this late, and took to yelling and or talking to the perpetrator. The fat lady's portrait also chose the most inconvenient times to squeak loudly when opening and closing. Lily decided it might be best just to lie low and wait for James to leave. Unfortunately for her, Remus chose that time to walk into the common room as well. Not only could she really not leave now, but they both looked serious and the conversation to ensue would most definitely not be one she was welcome to listen into.

"That witch of yours is the most kind person I think I've ever met." Lily was pretty sure Remus was the one who said this.

"Of mine? I wish." Who were they talking about? Lily wondered and then reprimanded herself for listening "And I know she's kind. It makes me sick sometimes to look at myself in comparison."

"Actually, I think you two are very similar in that way." Who were they talking about? Then she realized that both of them were looking the other way and she took the opportunity to quickly creep into the portrait hole and push open the portrait as quietly as she could.

"_silencio" _she thought to the portrait and even though the fat lady was obviously making a rude comment no sound escaped her lips.

"She knows, and she doesn't care." Lily heard as she shut the portrait as quietly as she could.

Who could they be talking about? Certainly someone who James liked very much, she hoped for the sake of saving time that Remus didn't have to approve of every girl James went after with a conversation like this. The girl had to be cruel as hell to be alike James in kindness, because he was not, in any sense of the word 'kind'. Lily thought back to Severus, as much as it angered her to do so, and thought of how little he deserved the treatment bestowed upon him by Potter. Even though Severus was sure to become a death eater, what better way to ensure it than by showing how cruel the other side could be? She knew very well that James was going to be on her side, quite sure that he would do anything he could to stop Voldemort. But she was also sure that Severus would have turned to her their side had James Potter not existed.

Lily knew that Remus had not been sarcastic in comparing James to this kind young woman. Trying to be as unbiased as she could, Lily supposed that she had never seen James act anything less that perfectly kind to any of his friends or really, house mates. He had tortured Lily, but only by asking her out which couldn't exactly be considered mean. And as for pranks, they hadn't pulled anything mean since third or fourth year and even then it had been the Slytherins or more specifically, those known to be or those guaranteed to become death eaters.

Lily realized that she had traveled all the way to the astronomy tower, and had climbed a majority of it. Forgetting her previous thought, she hastened to reach the top. She knew it was a hot spot for late night lovers, but three o'clock in the morning was a bit late for a Monday. She was right, the tower was abandoned and she could look down on the grounds in peace. After a minute or two Lily became aware of how horribly cold she was in her thin long sleeve shirt and how good her warm bed sounded even if she couldn't fall asleep.

With that thought, Lily rushed back to the common room, running until she either felt stupid or out of breath and then walking again until she got cold. When she finally reached it, she once again silenced the portrait and woke it.

"Godrics Hollow" She said firmly, and the portrait opened.

She walked in and thought only of how nice her bed must be. Her heart was racing because in the last minutes of her adventure she realized that even her prefect badge wouldn't have saved her this early in the morning if she had been caught. Relief washing over her, she thought she might now know why the Gryffindor boys loved breaking rules so much.

"Out late, Evans?" She heard a voice say, and her heart dropped as she looked up to find James Potter lying casually on the couch by the fire.

"What of it, Potter?" Lily said casually hoping against hope that he didn't jump down her throat. Maybe she shouldn't have been so harsh on them. But instead of getting angry, he just grinned.

"I knew you'd see how much temptation rule breaking provides eventually."

"Well, I had to try it once, I couldn't sleep." She smiled

"I'm proud of you for resisting so long. But next time you go out, it probably wouldn't be best to use the third corridor to get up to the astronomy tower, Filch spends most of his time patrolling that one, because, you know, love runs high on the top of that tower." He smiled while Lily tried her best not to look outraged that he had followed her and curious as to how he did it while he was in the middle of a conversation with Remus.

"I know. Thanks for the tip." Lily said and then for curiosity's sake, she added in a suggestive tone "How do you know I wasn't meeting someone up there?"

"Who would you be meeting, Lily Evans?" He asked, as if that were the obvious retort.

Lily wondered what this whole conversation was all about, was it an olive branch? They were speaking, if not on friendly terms, at least as if they were grown adults. It was weird, like she was seeing a different person now. He was being nice, even a bit playful; she had to admit that she wouldn't mind talking to him if their conversations were going to be this peaceful. For some reason he didn't bother her right now, even though his last comment was kind of harsh, it didn't seem like he was being an arrogant git for once.

With that he got up from his chair and walked to the stairs in front of the boys dormitories, and then before she could say anything, turned and said "'Night Evans. Oh, and for the record, you're a giant hypocrite."


	4. Grim Outlook

James was spacing out in charms once again, while little professor Flitwick spoke enthusiastically about fire-extinguishing charms. James was thinking back to Monday. It seemed such a long way off from Wednesday. Tuesday had been far too hectic to sit down and think. He and Sirius had been caught skipping Potions by Dumbledore himself; they had been restoring a particularly nasty picture of a warlock who had the tendency to swear at passers by mainly James and Sirius. So fifth year they had gotten fed up with said portrait and James threw a curse he'd found in one of Moony's books at it, making it not only silent but unable to move from its frame. James finally took pity on it because he saw the old man crying the day before. It had been right after they finished taking the curse off the old portrait that Dumbledore came by. James had thrown caution to the wind and told the headmaster that he and Sirius had been jinxed earlier by and unknown person and had only just then freed themselves, it was then that they saw the poor old warlock crying and decided to help him, as they themselves knew what it was like to be victims. Dumbledore of course said this was perfectly reasonable and that it was only natural to 'take pity on those who had been done wrong', and with much emphasis, 'even if others don't understand them'. He let James and Sirius go, letting them know (in case they had forgotten) that their potions class was just ending, that they would be able to apologize for their absence and catch the last few minutes of class. Part of James was quite sure that if Sirius and his story hadn't been so outlandish they would have actually gotten into trouble.

That same day Sirius and James had also decided to take it upon themselves to venture into the Forbidden while Moony and Wormtail were studying to fetch an ingredient needed for a potion that not even Professor Slughorn had in his stock. The leaf was rare and if they hadn't spotted it last full moon they would have never found it. Unfortunately for Sirius and James, a pack of Trimigons found them harvesting said leaf and got angry, as they were clearly stealing things that didn't belong to them. They managed to escape by sprinting as fast as they could right into centaur territory with only a few injuries to their bodies. They had prior expirience with the centaurs, who had let them go for being children on previous cases. Unfortunately the centaurs were very aware that they were almost considered adults in the wizarding world and had a hard time slipping away so easily on this occasion. After apologizing profusely and admitting that without the superior directional skills of a centaur, they had no idea where they were going etc. they were allowed to go. They ran into trouble once again on the edge of the forest. They seemed to have found an offspring of the whomping willow, and though it was a shrub in comparison to its parent, James and Sirius sustained severe lacerations from its needle like branches. They had, however, completed their task and returned to the other half of the marauders with leaves in hand.

James now thought not of last nights exciting adventure, but of the red-head sitting in the front of the class neatly writing something on a scrap of parchment Alice Prewett had passed her. After years of getting verbally assaulted by the girl, he had to marvel at the balls it must have taken her to convince herself it was okay to break curfew and wander about the castle with no apparent reason. He wouldn't have blinked an eye if she had been meeting someone, even, though it pained him to think, a secret lover. But there was no special reason for her infraction, no books to steal from the library (though admittedly she could probably get any off limit book in the library anyway), no special ingredients to procure, and no secret passage way to find. It had seemed completely pointless for her to meander up to the astronomy tower for a couple minutes and then sprint back. Was she leaving something there for someone, or was it just a whim? And then, even stranger was the conversation they had afterward. After all the detentions he had received from her, she didn't even stutter at breaking the rules herself. She displayed no apparent embarrassment over the subject. Not to mention that, he had been completely civil towards her and he got nothing in return, nothing but a small smile, and even stranger, a suggestion. Granted, those two things are all he even could have hoped for from her, as she did indeed hate him. No boy could have complained about seeing Lily Evans even mentioning sexual promiscuity. However he couldn't help but admit that it angered him and slightly turned him off that she felt above the rules when she herself enforced them with such a hard nose. His respect for the girl with whom he had been so enamored both decreased and increased that night.

"Mr. Potter, you can show me a spell that creates fire?" Flitwick asked, bringing James tumbling out of his daydream

"Sure Professor." James obliged, not even skipping a beat, with an unspoken spell and the professors' desk caught in a mass of flames

"Thank you Mister Potter. Finexticus." Flitwick projected with a downwards slash of his wand "I want you all to pair up and try this spell, but not you Mr. Black and Mr. Potter, no I've had enough of that to last me a life time. Miss Prewitt, would you be kind enough to work with Mr. Black? And you, Miss Evans with Mr. Potter?"

Lily came and sat down with James and intoned "morning"

"'Lo Evans" he said

They practiced the charm silently for a while. But both Lily and James succeeded their first try and it was only so long they could stand the boredom.

"You were out last night." She said in a tone that sounded disapproving

"Yeh, I was." He said shortly

"Enchanted forest I suppose" She said looking at his wounds part in concern and part in distain

"yup." He said shortly again

"Well I'm glad you're heeding Dumbledores' suggestions beginning of term every year." She said coldly and slashing the flames off her wooden vase.

"You love taking his advice too, don't you Evans? Though I suppose it just doesn't count, for you, does it?" He laughed sarcastically. He had no idea why he was being so harsh.

"I suppose…" She said faltering slightly

"Right, well, go ahead and keep on doing it, just as long as you stop busting me for everything." He said, doing his best to look indifferent

"It's…it's my job. I have to. You don't really want me to…?" She said with a look in her face that wasn't distinguishable

"Not see us doing whatever we're doing? Yeah, that might be nice. Though I suppose we don't get caught when we really don't want to be. Not even by you, Miss Evans." He said smiling unconcernedly. Lily just started at him for a little while.

"You're a git, Potter." she said, looking angry. She got up from her chair and went to sit down with Alice and Sirius

The class threw furtive and curious glances at him. Sirius looked at him in confusion but went back to what he was doing when James shrugged almost imperceptibly. Remus too cast a glace at James, but James just shook his head and went back to practicing the charm.

"What the hell was that all about, mate?" Sirius asked James as they walked to lunch

"Dunno, I wasn't even doing anything this time, I was just being a bit cheeky, that's all. She just…left."

"What were you talking about?" Remus asked shrewedly

"Oh, don' give me that look Rem, she's in a bit of a tiff 'cause I caught her out the other night, and I keep reminding her every time she tries to get on my back about breaking rules."

"How does she know you were out last night?" peter squeaked

"It's not that hard to tell, Pete, look at my face."

"You could have gotten them anywhere." Peter said

"Anywhere between 10:00 last night when she left the common room and 6:30 this morning when she saw me at breakfast. No, Lily's not that much of an idiot."

"James, I know you like twisting her up sometimes, but just leave off, will you?"

"Cut the shit, Moony, I haven't done that since fourth year, not so she knows I'm doing it at any rate. I guess I was a bit harsh, but I've sat plenty of boring detentions 'cause of her, least she can do is sit and take the blame when she breaks the rules herself."

"Yeah, thas' right, I've had to deal with Filch more often than I'd care to 'cause of her!" Sirius said indignantly

"It's not like you don't do it to yourselves" Remus said

"Ah, let's just drop it. When are we going to brew that potion?" Sirius said in a low tone

Lily felt sick to her stomach by the time lunch was being served. She was mad at James because he wouldn't let the other night drop. She hardly considered running to the astronomy tower and back equal to going into the forbidden forest. She didn't understand why it was such a big deal it wasn't like she'd never been out before. She and her room mates used to play truth or dare all the time and they'd have to go around the school on dares. How was she even a prefect, how did she get like this? She used to bend and break rules all the time, maybe not the way Potter's group does, but she never used to be such a stiff. What was so bad about leaving them to their own devices? It's not like she could stop them anyway. James himself said they couldn't be caught when they didn't want to be. Remus let them do as they pleased for the most part. Why couldn't Lily do the same? Remus broke rules all the time and he was a prefect. He, after all was the one Dumbledore had clearly intended to keep James and Sirius under control.

"He looks so rugged with all those cuts, you know?" Lily heard a girl sitting behind her at the hufflpuff table say to another girl

"I know, how dreamy can you get?" Lily started laughing when she realized they were talking about James

Alice, Sarah, Olivia and Marcy turned to look at her, apparently torn from their own conversation.

"Are you feeling alright, Lil?" Olivia asked

"Yeah, sorry, sometimes I have to laugh when I hear snippets of other peoples' conversations." She glanced at James and thought of how un-rugged he looked telling a joke to amused friends and using lots of hand motions to make his points.

"You wouldn't be laughing if you'd been listening into ours" Alice said and Lily turned back and stopped smiling immediately

"That little girl that had been kidnapped so many weeks ago was found last night just outside Lancaster."

"That's awful." Marcy commented

"Yeah, well, that wasn't the worst of it. She cited severe damages from the cruciatus curse. They aren't even sure she'll be able to tap her magical resources when she gets older. I guess extreme pain shuts off the magical receptors in the brain." Alice said grimly

"That's not the worst though" Sarah said "She might not even be able to function like a normal human being. They say she might not live long enough to get to the point where children start exhibiting magic."

"Oh no, I didn't hear about that bit!" Olivia said sadly "Poor Molly."

"What?" Lily spluttered "Molly, as in Molly Weasely?"

"Yeah, I didn't know you knew her." Alice said

"I don't, I met her at one of your parties. I thought it was supposed to be a little girl. Molly's got to be at least 25, got a son of her own now, doesn't she? "

"Yeah, Bill, he's a sweetheart, turns one soon I think. Anyway, it was Molly's closest cousins' daughter, Magdalena Marx. Molly's torn to pieces by it though. Loved Magda to death, she did. Not to mention she's got a son of her own to worry bout, and a new husband." Alice said

"Oh the whole thing is horrible."

"Mum says it's just the beginning" Sarah said "You Know Who is supposed to be worse than Grindelvald. She said this is how it started when she was a little girl and he was coming to power."

The girls all felt this new weight upon them, a pressure that signified that something was coming. This strange sort of foreboding that made them think twice about the frivolous way in which they regarded their lives.


End file.
